darrynek: hello 911 yes i’d like to report a murder this bitch killed my vibe
That awkward moment when you realize that Kim...
How I got out of doing the dishes
My mom: Do the dishes
Me: *places sock on counter*
My mom: What's this? Why is it here? *hands me the sock*
Me: MASTER HAS GIVEN DOBBY A SOCK!
My mom: wait what?
Me: DOBBY IS A FREE ELF
Me: *runs to room*
boy: girls are so lucky they dont need to shave their faces or have boners.
girl: shaving legs, shaving arms, waxing, plucking, pubes, periods, cramps, pregnancy, giving birth, makeup, shut the fuck up.
titspajamas: north korea eat a snickers you get a little nuclear terroristic when youre hungry